Starting a Secular Student Alliance at my school is going to be a huge pain in the ass. I feel intimidated by my schools administration and discouraged by how few skeptics I feel there are at my school. I shan’t quit though. I put in some serious leg work today, and I’m proud of myself. I want some sort of secular comeraderie. I want to put myself out there even more as a PROUD atheist and humanist. I want to be able to kindly say “Fuck you” to Rachel Schisler and every other hypocrite Christians who avoids me because I wont go to FCA. ….and I also want to put it on a college application.
Number 10.. where are you? People keep telling me to just be patient, not to fret, and that it’ll happen soon. But I am not patient. I do fret. And it sure as hell doesn’t seem to be happening. I understand I’m a lot to handle, a little hyper, and maybe even intimidating, but I’m not changing while I’m waiting for courage to grow. Just becoming ever more frustrated, cranky, and discouraged. Seemingly less desirous. Goddam vicious cycle.
I don’t care if my feminism bothers you. Quite frankly, my necessity for it frustrates me immensly. Stop trying to silence me by saying it’s annoying. Your blatent disregard and disrespect for 51% of the world’s population is unacceptable. Oh, and jokes really only make things worse.
And on a far less frustrated note, today I came to the realization that I am finally without ties, attachment, want, etc.. of any man I know. Kathy asked me today if it would bother me if she went for coffee with Cole, and my legitimate first thought was “Cole who?” He’s so completely off my radar. I have the complete upper hand. It is such a beautiful and empowering thing to now look at all these men who I used to idealize, who were ‘out of my league’ as Aditya would say, and laugh at them, find them to be ridiculous, and all with the most amiable feelings possible. I have no ill will for any of them. Untethered. At least by those self-destructive, unreturned relationships I have been so fond of these last 3 or so years. And Kathy, it means so much to me that you asked. I think you may have been the first person to acknowledge my former resentment of him as a perfectly valid feeling without me telling you explicitly how I felt first. Thank you, my wonderful and considerate best friend.
And also, I forgot I had a tattoo yesterday in the shower and thought I had a spider on my back. Oh the things winter does to you.
Ask the Siri, the new iPhone 4 assistant, where to get an abortion, and, if you happen to be in Washington, D.C., she won’t direct you to the Planned Parenthood on 16th St, NW. Instead, she’ll suggest you pay a visit to the 1st Choice Women’s Health Center, an anti-abortion Crisis Pregnancy Center (CPC) in Landsdowne, Virginia, or Human Life Services, a CPC in York, Pennsylvania. Ask Google the same question, and you’ll get ads for no less than 7 metro-area abortion clinics, 2 CPCs and a nationwide abortion referral service.
Ask in New York City, and Siri will tell you: ‘I didn’t find any abortion clinics.’
If true, this is extremely important. Not just because of the subject matter but because its important to understand that our access to news and INFORMATION may increasingly be funneled through large companies like Apple, Facebook, Google and Amazon, who have hidden agendas, policies or biases we don’t know about.
Here’s another post that illustrates the failures of this program using actual screencaps. Apparently it has no problem directing you to pharmacies when you need Viagra but it’ll get really snarky if you try to search for female birth control options.
And he sees this girl who catches his eye. He walks up to her, flirts and asks if he could buy her a drink. She declines. It seems she wants to hang out with her friends and doesn’t want to be bothered. So the man calmly and with a non sarcastic tone says: “Okay. Well, you have a good evening then”. He walks away and continues to enjoy his evening because life moves on and she didn’t owe him a god damn thing.
Even when I was one, it never felt right. I’ve always wanted to be the kind of person to break the rules and challenge people’s prototypes of how a “lady” should act. I want to live to please myself within my own set of morals, and yeah, it might be scandalous by most people’s standards. I never want to be just obedient and cooperative. And losing innocence means gaining experience, gaining knowledge. I’d so much rather be empowered through knowledge than blissful through innocence.
I refuse to feel bad about what I am wearing because you deem it “too revealing”. If I deem it okay, then it’s okay. If you don’t like it, don’t look. Don’t try to make me feel uncomfortable by making jokes and drawing everyone’s attention to me. I happen to really like my body, and my clothes. And I’m not about to stop wearing a shirt because it doesn’t cover as much of me as it did when I bought it.
I spent 12 years of my life having people tell me what was and wasn’t modest to an extreme. (Damn those mormons), and now that I have finally realized that I can show off whatever I want and still dictate what I do and do not do, I am going to wear whatever I damn well please. Kindly keep your opinion about it to yourself.
I don’t really know what to make of all the events going on in my life, but everything’s been perfect. Everything’s going my way. I’m happy I’m pleased I’m confident I’m excited. And the forseeable future looks pretty good too. I wouldn’t mind it at all if things continued to work out swimmingly for me like this.