Bazmanian Devil

Time for a solid wrap up.

Last week was hell. 3 AP tests and then the additional stress of missing classes to go to AP tests. And being all out of my regular friend rhythm and feeling lonely. Work was gross; I hate the new employee, and I’m going to get stuck working with her all the time. Just all of it, gross. Then Friday started an upturn. Left school after my APUSH test and got to spend the next 48 hours with Amanda. Funtivities in Westport and eating on Southwest Boulevard and mini golfing and just goofing off in the Allred family way. It was too short of a visit though. Sunday morning Amanda and Dad left, and then I spent the day with my mom. Which was important, because I know my mom has been having a hard time lately with work and then missing Amanda and worrying about me leaving and wondering how she’s going to handle Thor. So I treated her to a great day out. We went to town topic for greasy burgers: perfect. Then we just goofed off and adventured in Westport and on the Plaza. Went to the other Allreds for dinner, which was suprisingly not as bad and I was expecting. Finished off the evening with more mom time. It was a great day.

Then this week. Monday was stressful because of getting ready for the AP French test. And worrying about my French family leaving me. Worked Monday night. Not very exciting. Tuesday was a really great and hard and weird day all rolled into one. I feel like it wasn’t even one day. French was perfect. We had a great food day and everyone wore a cape and me and katie had on matching studded shorts and we watched La Vie en Rose. Then the exam. I’m not really interested in speculating about how I did, I just hope I did well to make Madam proud and to prove to myself that it’s all been worth it. Went with Melissa to our coffee shop when I got home, with a weight lifted off my shoulders. Melissa and I adventured around Briarcliff, being even weirder than usual. Then we went adventuring for dinner and ended up at Ingredient. Spent some more time with my mom when I got home, and then went with Drew, Katie, and Allison to the midnight premiere of The Dictator. We got there super early and were just goofing off while we waited. Then the movie was hilarious! So worth hardly getting any sleep. Wednesday, already irrational from lack of sleep, the seniors all left French. We all cried, but when it came down to it, they left happy and I stayed, lonely and sad. It’s so hard to watch them go. I really cannot even describe how much I adore every single one of them. We’ve all become ourselves in that class. Crazy, existential, francophile ex-pats. And they’ve made me learn to love myself so much. Everyone is just so open and we embrace eachother and make fun of eachother and tell eachother everything. I know it isn’t all ending just yet, and that I have the whole summer with at least Katie, Drew, and Maisie, but sitting there in class with the French 4 kids who don’t even know me is awful. And I basically spent the rest of the day at school feeling bleh. I never even got to see Trisha on her last day. Worked in Dad’s office after school and took a nap and then went to dinner with Diane-Jo! We spent a fantastic evening together.. It was so great to see her, and I can’t wait for this summer, but Diane to me is still a sort of reminder of last summer and who I was then and how much that’s changed. I really don’t know how all of that will play out. I am determined to make it great though. But I have to quit spending so much money. And now today there is no going back. I have to face college apps and people leaving and making decisions and accepting changes. Gross. And I haven’t had a good chat with so many of my friends in such a long time- Kathy, Kara, Nick, Erika, Elizabeth. It just sucks.

Okay. I think I can be done whining now. Seems like that’s all I’ve done lately, but I really have been having a good time. I just need to remember that even though I have another week left, I don’t really have anything to do, so I can just relax at school and then goof off during the evenings. Gahh. Why am I always such a mess.