If only Baz Luhrmann directed my life.
Stephanie Irene. KC girl. Feisty. Feminist. Neurotic. Atheist. Passionate. CATS!
I’m reppin’ in my SSA shirt and a designated atheist sticker, open for any non-derogatory questions that come my way.
So this week, I had a lot of drama with my school’s aministration over my secular student alliance group and sort of just a lot of attacks on my lifestyle in general.
First: a recap. So last week in SSA we made simple posters for National Ask an Atheist Day. Tuesday we put them up around school, being sure to follow all the rules of where posters can and cannot be hung. Of course, teachers and students found the word atheist offensive and the posters were taken down and ruined, all before trying to communicate with me about it. And by the time I got home from school, after letting it sink in for a couple of hours, I was just unbelievably frustrated that everyone takes offense to my chosen lifestyle. I really do try to be a good person and make a good name for myself, I know I can’t speak for all atheists, but I feel most of them try to do the same. And I am pretty damn good at it I think. I am a devoted friend. I do charity work. I respect others. I try to be educated about politics. I work hard in school and know I will end up working my ass off eventually just so I can maybe become a doctor or maybe something else, but definitely someone who tries to better people’s lives. But I will always be defined in negative terms. And that has made me slightly more callus. I knew, after the battle I went through to get SSA at all, that maintaining the club would be difficult too, but I was still hoping the school would suprise me and be better than I expected. But they aren’t. And I am so tired of everyone being so ignorant and judgmental. And then accusing me of being defensive because sometimes I try to nip arguments in the bud because I don’t even think they’re worth having.
For example: The SSA shirts say “Morals without Mythology” on the back, and it is something that is very true of people who decide to define and live by morals not related to any sort of supernatural force. And I don’t, in any way, find it to be offensive. As a rational person, I read it as a positive message, “yay morals!” I don’t read it as, “oh, they think christianity is mythology and that they are better than us because they have morals and we don’t” And so yeah, when people try to give me shit about it at school, especially Nick, because he should know better, I am going to give you a defensive answer because I already know what you are thinking, and I know it could turn into a fight, and I don’t want it to, so I am going to try to cut it off. And for the record anyway, I wouldn’t have to be defensive if most of the people I know didn’t already give me a reason to feel the need for it.
Nick and Connor were just getting on my nerves today. I am tired of having to hold back my entire opinion because I can’t risk being considered ‘another abrasive atheist’ even though every time I talk to him Connor goes all holier than thou and shoves his faith down my throat and Nick flip flops on his religious views to pander to who he’s talking to. But still, I let them tell me that Atheists are “douchier” than Christians and continue to say the same ignorant things everyone else says, just in joke form to keep it light. As if I could ever get away with joking about their faith. I am so fucking tired of having to hold back because for some reason, your religion is exempt to all rules and criticisms, while you make every judgment on mine possible without ever really asking me what my beliefs are.
I just hate everyone right now. I am so tired of living in a country where I am automatically the least trusted person because I think something different than you. Why is it so offensive to you that I don’t share your belief? It doesn’t even have anything to do with anyone else. Why can religious people brush off questions and criticisms because “spirituality is personal” when I am expected to listen to all of your horseshit about the kind of person I am.
So even though the SSA thing worked itself out and we will still be happily celebrating Ask An Atheist day next week, the whole experience left me so unwilling to put myself in this position ever again. I just don’t even want to deal with people at my school. We can just keep doing our events and service on our own. And I’m not going to try to explain my beliefs to people anymore, because it’s none of their fucking business and they have their mind made up about it already.
I am designing posters for my high school Secular Student Alliance group, anyone have any ideas for something that must be featured on a poster to help explain the purpose of the club and entice new members?